What you didn't know

I am an incredibly shy person.  WEIRD right?!  All of my friends think I'm crazy when I tell them I'm shy, BUT I REALLY AM.  Until I get to know someone, I am very shy.

Because I am so shy, I hate doing things alone.

I like to think I am the most dependent independent person alive.  I can be stubborn and independent up until a certain extent.  And that extent is being alone.

Don't get me wrong, I can go to the bathroom without a girlfriend coming in with me and I am not a fan of going shopping with other people because then you have to wait for them to look at clothes, try them on, decide, go try something else on... etc etc and all I really wanted was a gosh darn white t-shirt that I found 2 hours ago.

BUT traveling is a different story.   I wish so badly that I could hop in a car, drive to somewhere random (alone) and do my own thing.  See what I want to.  Eat at a place that fancies my interest.  But I would have a panic attack if I ever ate at a restaurant alone.  I am terrified people will look at me and say, "Why doesn't that girl have any friends?!"

I get so sad when I see people eating alone.  I want to go eat with them!  Would their kids not go to dinner with them?  Do they have kids?  Are they married?  Divorced?  Lonely?  Independent?  I'm so nosey with other people, that I think the world is nosey with me. 

I went to Portland once with Aaron, and while he was busy for a day I decided to sight see... alone.  That's right - I stepped out of my comfort box and went at it ALONE.  It was the most HORRIBLE experience I've ever had!!  I couldn't enjoy the city :-(

I'm not sure where this ramble is going, but I just wanted the world to know that I hate being in new places alone.  And I wish I could change it.